at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
