Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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