thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
