my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
