JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
my poor anus
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
