I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
