I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize