it wasn't lemon gatorade
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
