i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
