Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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