all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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