how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
