hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
