i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
