I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
