dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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