the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
