U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The air was thick with penises
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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