I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize