I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize