Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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