At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
