whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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