When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
