Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
