Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
