there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
