I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
