Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
