Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
