I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
