Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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