my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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