I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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