She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
