i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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