you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
