I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is my gift to your gina
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
