don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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