my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
