glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
