Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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