Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
