Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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