Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
