do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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