I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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