I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
