I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think my mom watched the whole time
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
