If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
