Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
