All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you win again, gameday.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
