I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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