Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
