Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize