Betty ford says i'm here all night
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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