I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize