I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
