All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
