Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
