some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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