drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize