Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
is it fun? or sober?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
