just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
