My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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