I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have post one night stand depression
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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