Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
