Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He kissed a someone with a penis
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize