Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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