I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
