If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
