youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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