no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I see more hoeing in ur future
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